Sunday, November 6, 2016

The chromosome divides, multiply and thrive...And the strong survive, and the strong survive

When you spend one third of your day with your co workers the chances are that you will end up discussing sensitive subjects once in a while.
With time age and experiences I have learnt to not to air my opinions openly. I test the waters and then use my judgement to (or not) voice my concerns. I am not sure if that's a good thing but at the moment it feels like a sensible thing.
The other day I sat with a few fellow Indians for lunch and the subject of a gay family came up who are expecting a child this year through a surrogate mother. A lady (of my age group) suddenly reacted with a loud unpleasant response - "What would the child learn. He would only see homosexuality and will become a homosexual too". This response shocked me. I asked her how did it matter? How does one's orientation can be anybody's business? Another man (well in to his 40's) said he wasn't too comfortable near gay people. I have been thinking about this conversation since then and frankly I detest people who differentiate or are bothered by orientations, religion or race. I feel uncomfortable around such people.

I thought my generation was different. We as a generation adapted to a lot of things too quickly and didn't expect this kind of reaction at all. The fact that these guys call themselves "liberal", "broad minded", "well traveled" and "well read" makes me want to question them even more.

That lady and him justified their response by calling gays abnormal. Really? I am not able to take this conversation out of my head and of course I am being very judgmental about the whole thing.

My only question was how they were okay with a woman going through an IVF treatment to get pregnant whereas this couple was "abnormal" . We humans have a tendency of fearing anything that changes and challenges our deepest mindsets. The fear of 'unknown' to be precise but we as humans are meant to evolve. Aren't we? If that means spending his/ her life with the person of same sex then they are by all means entitled to it. Isn't one's happiness important? I don't understand why people are always defining normal?

I just wish I could change perceptions and opinions. I thought about this conversation a lot. I thought about these coworkers and I feel bad for their families.

Coming back to my daily grind, life is running at a very high speed these days. The days are getting shorter and the work hours longer. Most days I come back home tired and exhausted. I look forward to Fridays every week.

Yesterday while wrapping up yet another hectic week I was chit chatting with my co worker. He is a nice Cuban American man in his 50's who decided to give me a pep talk before leaving. We talked about a lot of things but one thing that he said stayed on - "In these times you have to have at least that one thing in your life that makes you feel that you own life".So true, couldn't have said anything more perfect on a Friday evening. I decided to take his advice seriously. I got back home, set my cheese platter (which is my current obsession - I am moving away from cooking guys), had a drink and immediately started composing this post. I have to admit that it felt pretty good.



  1. Yo sister!! So nice to read your writing after long. I feel the exact same way about people seeing their way of life as "normal." I don't engage in conversations beyond the customary hello, and cursory byes at work because I don't even want to know how rigid people are. It pains me. I know a colleague who is staunchly anti-gay. He also thinks it's a disease. I pity these people. I feel their strong reaction comes from an inherent insecurity about their own sexuality. I think accepting it makes them fear about "what ifs". People don't like anything that challenges them to think and make critical evaluations. Because that's too much effort. What I find funny about people opposed to homosexuality is this, "Why does other people's sex life bother you? " :D :D Hain na? I don't care what people do with their lives as long as their life choices don't physically harm anyone else.

    Anyway, cheese sounds like a great topic to explore. I wish it was more affordable to try different cheeses here in India. How's your new job?

  2. I know what you mean! We have discussed this So many times.. I didn't expect this reaction from someone of my own age who In her own words is well traveled and broad minded..

    I really enjoying cheese platters. Wasn't a fan when I was in Europe though.. it's a new thing for me and I just love the idea of doing platters instead of meals..

    New job is interesting. The last one was more like a boutique firm and I wanted to go bigger this time.. It is interesting.. ( Need your help with LinkedIn. Will send details on WhatsApp)

  3. I have seen that so many times as well. I don't even know what people mean by broad-minded anymore. I think all that is limited to just modern clothes and stylish, French brands. But when it comes to being inclusive, we as a country are also far far far away from it.

    Boutique firm? Interesting. I don't know what it means though. Still in IT? Has your whatsapp number changed? Just sent you a hello, but it shows you haven't been active for quite some time. Or are you just taking time off it?

  4. I once was at a diversity training course, for a job I had working with a police force and an elderly guy sat there and implied all homosexuals are also pedophiles. I sat there in utter shock convinced that the error was mine and I had misunderstood him as no one could think that. Hell, looking at the results in America today only goes to show us how much work there is still to do

  5. Laura, A lot of it is caused due to lack of awareness. Ignorance is stupidity. The world is continuously changing and we need to accept that even if it doesn't strike the right chord.. I hate it when people are intolerant..