Monday, April 4, 2016

Keep Calm and Meditate..

Note: This post was written last week but I was just too busy to post it :)

I had a medical review last week. I am still getting used to these reviews so I am not sure if they qualify as "fun-things-that-I-do".
In other news I have a very HIGH resting heart rate. Now that is something which is really abnormal for someone of my age, background, medical history, workout history. I have to admit that I was quite shocked. This is something which I didn't even imagine in my wildest dreams.

I spoke to the lady and I told her about my running history amongst other things. Frankly she wasn't impressed. They have plenty of guys like me coming in every week with a story.  What was surprising was that I had checked all boxes before this review. Two days of no workout, little alcohol, less caffeine etc etc. I was not quite happy with my results. She scheduled another review for next week just to confirm her suspicions. I googled feverishly. I think they should really rename google as Dr Google. I swear to god that I have typed every prescription, every diagnosis, casual comments word to word.  In a few forums they had suggested deep breathing, meditation, pranayam etc before fixing an appointment with a Cardio-Thoracic doctor. This is what the lady had suggested too.

I decided to follow that advice to a T. I came back home in a rush and all energized. There I was, on a Monday evening, sitting on my bed meditating. The streets were as calm as they could be. There were no trains on the schedule. The train station is close. Very close. You can see the trains, in motion, coming and leaving from the dining table. It is quite a breathtaking sight but lets not digress.

I thought that I could do it. I always talk about how running is my therapy, meditation and really thought that meditating would be simpler and easy. It wasn't. No matter how hard you try the thoughts fly like butterflies. You think that you have moved on but frankly those thoughts emerge from nowhere with inconsequential details. You keep saying that "You've got this" but it was harder than dealing with physical injuries. You feel anger, pain, rage and lots of "why-me" moments. I tried to unload my mind of all those thoughts that were weighing in heavily. I wasn't quite successful (in case you're wondering). I just meditated for 10 minutes and when I was done I felt so tired.
I felt like a soda bottle with a released cap.. I could breathe again. I thought about all those things that I was thinking about and went in to a deep sleep.  I slept like a baby for those 55 minutes and felt lighter on waking up.

Hopefully, it gets better.


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