Monday, December 7, 2015

Hearts on Fire..

I know you have heard about it, read about it and probably bored of my this years ADHM story. You know what? I am really not done talking about running as yet. I need to document my thoughts somewhere and I am going to write about them here.
So if you are bored of my running posts then this is a fair warning as I might come across as a broken record.

We have reached the end of 2015 and like every year I am going to set new goals. I understand that I need  to take a stock of reality and make plans for 2016. 
I thought I had evolved as a runner until I began training for this year's half marathon. It has been a very intense, emotional, exhilarating and eventful year. My running logs are a proof of my journey. The other day someone asked me the most important reason for running half marathons. I thought of shrugging him off.  I normally do that when someone asks questions but he was important and I wanted to share my story.

When I started running I was unaware of what I was signing up for. Back in 2011 I joined a running club in Germany. We did trails, roads, tracks, inclines, intervals, long runs. Everything. Andreas would chalk out our routine meticulously for our personal goals. I was the least dedicated person in that group. I had no aim. No goal. No motivation. I just wanted to lose weight. He once had a long discussion with me. He encouraged me to sign up for a charity half. I registered because I didn't want to upset him. He told me that my pose and form were naturally gifted and I needed to take advantage of that. I thought he was just trying to encourage me. I never finished that charity run. Andreas was very mad and much later I moved on too. If I could I would just go back to 2011 in a jiffy and run those races. I have no regrets though. I took my time and every decision has been mine. 

I have been training solo for a while now. This year I reached out to fellow runners on Twitter and Instagram and they encouraged, guided and helped me through my training. The support that I have received has been phenomenal and I am really thankful to them. There were times when I lost it all, when I needed the reality check and when I needed someone to dissect my runs and translate my logs. They did it for me. 

This also made me consider joining a running club again. So 2016 is all going to be about speed and learning swimming because my next aspiration is to compete in triathlons. I want to be an athlete and I have set a few rules to achieve that. 
I will also start my project #RunStreak from 1st January 2016. The idea is to run every day (1 mile being the minimum distance). I did that for straight 28 days in August and it just made me feel stronger.

Everyone who has ever completed a half marathon will agree that the person that crosses the finish line is different than the one who is at the start line. No matter how many half marathons you achieve you still stand at the start line nervous and excited. There are hundreds around you dissipating the same vibe. You stand at the start line with excitement, energy and aspirations. After all we are all chasing different targets. It would not be right to say that the entire journey is an experience. It is not. You tend to question yourself a lot. Then there are those fleeting moments in which you truly see the whole experience.You realize your reason and your love for running is beyond weight loss, crossing an item from the bucket list, bragging on Instagram. There is a higher level of awareness.

A few days ago I came across something in which my situations and conditions were mocked in a not so cryptic way. I didn't know how to react. I was pretty dumbfounded just thinking where it came from but then I reasoned internally and decided to let go because there are bruises that we lay down and there are bruises that we carry.  
Forever.

Ciao..
The post title is from Rocky IV

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