Sunday, July 26, 2015

Label Jars Not People..

I am really tripping on this ad these days. They say that it takes 7 seconds to form an opinion or to label someone. I thought a lot about it and yes it is largely true. We tend to label/ stereotype people all the time because of what we have seen/ heard and of course from our experiences. I am no exception. I indulge in this every now and then. I feel that we need to shed that baggage. We need to get rid of what we know while meeting someone new.

This ad reminded me of the time when I met Kovac. I kept on forming his mental sketch. My very first opinion about him was that he was a hippie, a vagabond, fearless and uncontrollable. I felt so guilty when I saw his prosthetic legs while leaving. The parting scene, Kovac looking at me while I was checking his leg out, that quick peck on my cheek. I remember it all. I swore that day to never to judge anyone at first sight. I never stuck to my plan of course.

They say don't judge a book by its cover and it is quite true. It takes only 7 seconds to judge someone who is the way he is because of his experiences, situations and just life.
It just got me thinking about this space and how I have been judged based on my words, the stories that I shared and the experiences that I have written about.
Talking about words, I have seen a lot of bashing of amateur writers on the social media.
One of the writers happen to be a semi-successful actress who now has her own column. People have been ridiculing her for writing about common world problems. I guess they think that she does not have those type of issues in her life. She writes well, you can connect with her columns and she writes about everyday stuff. The fact that she is rich does not make her dumb or a lesser writer. She writes way well than those "tweeters" who never shy away from celebrity-bashing. 

Nothing irks me more than labeling people because of geographies. I have been labeled- prejudged way too many times because of my north Indian tag. The tags have always been the same.
I was discussing this with fellow north Indian girls and they also shared similar stories.

Everyone has untold stories. Stop labeling people because the chances are that you don't know their entire life story. Hopefully one day we will overcome boundaries and live in one world.. I just can't wait for that day. A world without any frontiers and living a life of equals. Wouldn't that be awesome?



  1. So true !! And I'm such a bad judge of people . Every time I judge somebody for not being very cool ( As if I have the quality ) and dreading that my frequency doesn't match with the person. I always end up spending most time talking/gossiping with that person .

    1. @Sonal: We live and learn. Kya kare? I can understand the feeling that it leaves you with.
      The thing is that "the definition of cool" also keeps changing every now and then. That's the beauty of social media :)

  2. Happens all the time and everyone is guilty of it. I've often met someone for the first time and just decided we could never be friends. Lately, I've been holding off that judgment for a while. Because of it, I've managed to become friends with quite a lot of wonderful people I would've never talked to in the past. I do hope I can practice it regularly in the future.

    1. @Priyanka: Same to same. I rubbished people mentally. I didn't even bother to change my opinion when people told me otherwise and I justified it all by calling myself "opinionated"..
      I have always been less judgmental compared to the others and maybe I have to blame the "lack of normalcy" in my life. This particular experience with Kovac comes to my mind every now and then and I feel very guilty!

    2. I think I ate a few sentences there... hahahaha :)

      I used to think that I was highly judgmental and then when I started observing my social circle I realized that I was being too harsh on myself..
      Still I need to be less than what I am at the moment. It is always a good thing. Isn't it?

  3. Very true. This has happened to me so many times. I have labeled some people as cheap, superficial...and all of that based on really superficial impressions.

    But I get into problems more often because of reverse labeling. I instantly tend to trust people and believe that they are incapable of any vile, but have suffered a lot on account of making friends too soon and letting them in on my life. And when I actually realize someone's true colors, it's too late to go back and tell them that I can't be friends with such people. arrghhh....I need to learn to not form any opinions/labels...good or bad.

  4. @MadeToMisfit: this particular comment is reminding me of the conversation that we had the other day.
    I guess we covered most of it there. didn't we?

    Actually it's not about good/ bad labeling but you know in general how we form a sketch based on the little that we know of that. I think we get too stuck in these labels and sometimes kill the possibilities of "What-if's" :)

  5. You know it is not going to happen right? As humans we constantly judge every thing around us. Is this area safe, will this person be friendly. Their belief system doesn't match ours.. we are all different and we are all constantly asking ourselves, how much of that difference we are willing to accept. And what we don't, we label it as judging. I think judgement will continue to prevail. However what we do with that is an entirely different question. Perhaps we will consciously tell ourselves that I am willing to accept the differences.