Monday, May 4, 2015

..Monday Musings..

Fresh Start. Every Monday morning without fail. That's how we are conditioned and that's how we adapt. We put everything behind and put our best foot forward every Monday.
How do you summarize a week of hopelessness, disappointment, mid week holiday which was not glamorous at all, finishing 2 books? If I could represent my week in a graph I bet it would look really ugly with all troughs in it. Perhaps I don't need to do that and just move forward.

I have been pissed off with life lately. I do have every reason for that. I am not here to share my soppy stories. I am just here to talk.
There was one thing which was consistent this week and that was my running. I was quite surprised to see myself running every day. Day after day and I logged a lot of miles every day. It didn't matter how horrible my day was because evenings were all mine. I gave myself to running. It made me feel like a different person. Somebody who was in control of her surroundings. Isn't that a luxury really?
I thought of all the burning issues. I wondered about my current state of affairs. I drafted blog posts in my head. I had epiphanies. My thoughts were like butterflies in a bag. Someone asked me my very own raison d'ĂȘtre and the need to put myself through pain and stress because in the end there is more pain and stress. I wouldn't say that there is only pain and stress. There's more and that is what keeps me going. I kept asking myself why do I run. I realized that the meaning keeps changing. I sometimes feel guilty for not being able to express my love for something which is so important for me. It makes me believe that I can overcome all obstacles. The physical stress that I endure just amazes me and I continue to test my limits. It makes me feel like that invincible girl who is just fluid when she is running.  There is something about beating the odds and being that strong person who can overcome anything. Yes, Anything. I break down every now and then. Life keeps pushing me back and sometimes it is just difficult to wear your makeup and move on. This is where running comes into the picture. It makes me the best version of myself. It has the power the make me feel strong. Really strong. I can let out all my emotions and I will never ever be judged. There comes a point in every run when everything feels alright and there is nothing but peace inside me and that's the moment when I realize what it means to run. Do you still want to know why I run? 

Just when I thought Monday was here for a fresh start there was a burglary attempt first thing in the morning (5:45 am, can you beat that?).. I think the buggers decided to mess with the wrong one..
Yes, it kind of threw me off balance and just when I thought I was in control I dropped my phone. There is a beautiful spider web design on the rear side of my phone now (Yes, I still use an iPhone with a glass back). I guess it is just not my kind of day today and will wait and see how the week behaves. The good thing is that there will be a fresh start after 6 days.

Looks like I will have to upgrade my phone sooner now.

Ciao..
P.S: Struggling to keep my eyes open. I will be back to proof read and correct my mistakes.

3 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you had such a rough time, but eventually everything gets better. It may sound hollow now, but soon things will be brighter. Till then take good care of yourself.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot :) I know eventually they will..

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  2. Wow. You had a burglary attempt?! That's crazy. Did you like physically fight him off?

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