Saturday, August 30, 2014

Getting Comfortable With Uncomfortable..

After four days of working out in the gym my face is visibly tired. I am looking fatigued. I am trying to concentrate on the book that I am hooked on to but my mind is drifting away.
Have you ever noticed how your mind wanders when you can't move an inch. My mind is like a slideshow in such situations. Like a stream of thoughts.
I woke up earlier than usual today. It was quite dark and cloudy. I crossed my fingers for a good downpour and with that thought went around doing my business as usual.

My mind is trying to pressure my body to take charge and perform -  Write a poem, or the best blog post ever, paint. My body is very stressed after my new workout routine and  feels very numb.
For a weird reason, this fatigue feels beautiful. My mind is restless and the soreness of my muscles feels sweet. I feel I still have control over my being and my body is showing results to the regimen I am putting it through. What could be better than that? It is not a struggle to get fit, it is not an obsession with looking a "particular" way.  It is just my resolve to reach a level higher with my fitness, my sense of being. I am tired of giving in to the situations. I am tired of feeling cheated. This is just for me and me alone. I am committed to reach my goal.

I never thought that I would say this but weight lifting has started coming naturally to me. I love running and still love it. Last night I was asked - "What would  you choose between being a  successful baker and a successful runner ?" It was almost like asking which is your favorite favorite child or more appropriate - which is your favorite plant? Without blinking I said - "A runner".  Coming back to the weight lifting - I am not a pro but I am getting better at it. There is an excitement when I spot those "cuts"and rough hands. It is all good.

While running I am in a different zone. It gives me a perspective and a reason to get going. It feels like poetry in motion. Every second and every kilometer matters. It is more like meditation or therapy. It makes me push my limits and try harder every time I am out there running.  I have always mentioned that running is a solitary sport. Everybody is in it for their own reasons. You have your records to break and your targets to achieve.

Weightlifting on the other hand has given me a sense of balance. It digs out fierce emotions which I never thought existed. It does have its own problems and I am aware of them. I know that I will never be able to buy those cute skinny jeans, I will have to let go of my dream of becoming super skinny. I can never have manicured hands. I know that I will hit the wall every once in a while. I know and I am still signing up for it. Why, you ask?
Weightlifting has made me very competitive. Every training session feels like a competition in itself. I am more calculated, measured and collected during weightlifting. There is a comfort level when I run which is not there while lifting weights. You need more discipline.With weightlifting it is all about mind over matter. The fire to finish the count is thrilling. There is a joy in adding weights. One wrong move and you can end up getting injured. It needs precision, finesse and concentration - something that I lack at the moment.

Epilogue: I am still running. I am clocking good times as well and very happy with the way it is going. The weight lifting has changed the dynamics a bit. I almost feel as if I have adopted another religion and practicing both. It's all good. I lifted weights earlier as well but this time it is different.

RIP - Cute Skinny Jeans

1 comment:

  1. "There is an excitement when I spot those "cuts"and rough hands." -- word!!