Sunday, May 4, 2014

Incoherent Ramblings..

Finally, it feels that some order is restored in my life.
I am pleased to announce that my baking hiatus is over. My oven was out of action for a while. I finally got it fixed (Partially). I have to rely on my instincts now for baking as there's only one level of heating now.

The weekend has been good so far. I know I haven't been quite regular here. I didn't abandon this space. The drafts bear testimony of my visits here. I tried writing on different subjects and every time words betrayed me. My thoughts were crystal clear in my head, but I just couldn't paint them with enough (right?) words. I am clouded by a lot of things at the same time. Well not everything is about me and yet things have affected me quite a bit. Why does life always feel like a struggle? I know your reaction now..
Hold your guard / This too shall pass /  Things will be fine... I know the drill, trust me I do! It is easier said than done. I will still hope for a better day though..

Coming back to the things that I started writing about. I don't think I will ever be able to finish those drafts. let me try to convey my thoughts here ( just copy pasting excerpts from my 3 drafts)..

  • There are boundaries for everyone and with time we need to keep redrawing them, something that we conveniently forget. Also, we need to take time-off from others every now and then to recover, rejuvenate and relax. I can never hang out with same set of people every weekend. I need to give them a break too. I think we are always involved in others in the hope of building better (stronger?) relationships. I like my space. Yes, I am in a relationship with myself. I respect my need to be alone from time to time. I am very very very apprehensive of intruding in someones life. I am always ready for a hearty talk but that's it. I know where to draw the boundaries and yet I cross them from time to time. The moment I realize it, I apologize and step back. Give some time and space and redraw the boundaries. It works like a charm I tell ya..
  • I often find myself in situations where my only response is "I told you so..." in my head of course. The people around me are facing situations which I had foreseen long back and had appropriately warned them. No, I don't want to say "I told you so.." It is not a matter to feel proud about. It hurts me just as much it hurts them for a simple fact that I couldn't help it. Well we all live and learn from our mistakes and come out stronger. I hate these I.T.Y.S moments.
  • A year ago, I moved in to a new house with possibilities, promises, hopes and optimism. Looking back, it's been a good year. It couldn't have been better. I am still piecing it together. The house is still in progress and I am glad it is. There is always something to look forward to. As a matter of fact, I recently bought 2 pieces of furniture and they were delivered yesterday. It feels great. The place feels vibrant. I am now looking forward to the next thing that I want to do in this house.
I hope you didn't feel disconnected while reading this post. Sometimes, you need to be disconnected. I needed a push to post and so I ended up writing about the disconnected things. 
Hopefully, this post will be the end of my random, incoherent writing. For now. 


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