Friday, January 17, 2014

Life is a Long Song...

I had a different notion of adulthood while growing up.. I had my own stereotypes. I had envisioned the person I wanted to be in my 20's, 30's, 40's...
I never thought of things going any other way. The idea was crystal clear in my head.
Now that I am on the verge of crossing a decade, I don't think things panned out the way I had visualized them. They are still crystal clear in my head though so just thought of sharing them here.

I wanted to be married by 23 and a mother of two children by 27. Oh! am I forgetting the career part?
Yes, I wasn't sure of my career back then, but then like most kids at 15 you only think about the salary..
(Even 10k felt like a big amount). I wanted to wear all designer clothes and color my hair metallic brown.
I was a very destructive kid. Injury marks/ bruises were more like medals for me. I always imagined my 20's without them - a part of growing up. Smooth legs without any marks. The same way I was sure of having long colored nails. Fitness was something that I took for granted.
As I am about to step out of my 20's I can tell you that I still have a lot of injury marks.
My nails are still very brittle, very short and squarish. I do have colored toenails though - Blue/ purple/ green - because of my long distance running. I am very proud of them. They are more like medals.
I still have fat fingers and black hair with a few white strands in between. Life wasn't the way I had envisioned it to be in my 20's. To be honest, I have no regrets. I guess I have had one hell of a decade and I am quite happy the way things have moved around.

Coming to the 30's. I always wanted to be a smoker in my 30's. The idea of smoking was way too attractive. I thought that every smoker could blow rings perfectly. Smoking a cigar every now and then with a scotch. Traveling all over. I had no craze for Europe back then except for a few places (Courtesy Robert Ludlum and his espionage novels). I just wanted to travel in my 30's, backpacking all over.
Of course, lots of money was something that I assumed came with your 30's. Now that I am almost there I am still optimistic about these things happening except for the smoking part. Smoking ain't for me and I have made my peace with that.

I don't have any illusions anymore. I don't have any image also in my mind for my 30's, 40's, 50's..
There are a few things here and there but there is no time limit on them. They are kind of important to me so I am going to work towards them. The first goal is to be medically fit.
I have to beat my medical condition. I want to run more marathons. Thankfully, my condition doesn't limit me from running. The day I finish a marathon under 90 minutes I will get a tattoo done. I have never been a fan of tattoos but of late I have been contemplating getting one. I guess it is a better way to make it special?
To buy/ build a house in the mountains. I want it to be ready by the time I am ready to retreat in the woods.
I want to have coffee in Vienna, see cemeteries there. I want to eat steaks in Argentina.. So on and so forth
Someday, I will have a small bakery too and will write a book.

I have stopped envisioning my decades now. The only thing that I care about is the larger picture. I know I will get it right at the end of the day. Yes, there will be a few unfinished things but whats life without them? Life is a journey and I need to live it to realize the unfinished things. That is inevitable and it will be my "Unfinished Symphony"..

It has been a long post and it felt good writing here..
P.S: It's a cold rainy grey winter Saturday. While typing this post, this song was playing in the background.
A Sign? Anyway, its a song by Jethro Tull and quite apt for this post.
Oh and I forgot to mention that a fat golden Labrador is also on the list... 


  1. This post bought a lot of smiles. I never wanted to smoke but it turned out quite differently :)

  2. Thanks Sweety:)
    Yeah, for better or for worse things turned out differently for all of us..!