Sunday, December 8, 2013

Keep Calm and Carry On..

They all warned me about it. I read articles and thought it was rubbish. I thought I was too strong for it. I thought it wasn't easy to break my game. My marathon left me a little irritated, annoyed, restless and impatient. It didn't take much time. After my half marathon last Sunday I was a little too excited. The day after I went straight to the gym (must be the Endorphins) and later I just lost my spirit.
I had given everything to this run. I gave my heart, mind and soul to it. The last month was spent dreaming about it, talking about it, thinking about it and reading about it. All this drained out in a little more than 2 hours on a fine Sunday morning.

There are different names but they all mean the same. Post Marathon Blues. Post Marathon Depression. Runners Blues etc etc. It wasn't my dream run. I guess it will take a while to adapt to the stress of running a marathon. The last week was tough for me both mentally and physically. Every morning I woke up feeling sick. To make matters worse, I couldn't tell the difference between the real and imaginary pain. I ate whatever I fancied. After the run there was a feeling of nothing-ness. I felt like a 10 year old feeling letdown after celebrating Christmas.

I wanted to go out and run again. I wanted to experience that high again. I wanted to put my body under stress again to feel strong. I tried every day and just couldn't manage. There was an urge to go all out but something just kept holding me back. I ranted, sulked, whined and cribbed the entire time.

Yesterday, I went for a small hike.. While walking through the trail I saw all possible colors up in the sky.
I saw people pacing up and down. I saw people running through the trail. I saw people chatting away. I saw people walking silently. Everyone was enjoying the rhythm. They had determination in their eyes. They all looked motivated, purposeful and full of energy. I kind of felt like a misfit there. I felt like someone with nothingness in her head. It was in that moment when I realized that I needed to get my mojo back.
Luckily, I was invited for an "elite" workout earlier in the week. The timing was just perfect. I was given the liberty to pick the body part I wanted to workout. I picked up legs (I wonder why). It was a good workout. Exhaustive and Intense. I couldn't have picked a better way to get back in the game. I think I am ready to beat the blues now.

The last week has truly humbled me. Yes, there are things which are larger than life. Achieving these things can be way too overwhelming. I guess its a good idea to listen to the voices around you. It is good to draw inspiration from your surroundings and then figuring things out. Methinks nobody can help you with the hollowness that remains. I think that's when we need to buckle up and keep rolling..

"It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul." 

- Invictus

P.S: I couldn't refrain from quoting Invictus again.. :).

1 comment:

  1. Running your half marathon was quite the achievement; don't worry about the will shake them off ofc!

    Hope the walk was good? :)

    And the workout too? :)