Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The house of the rising sun..

She opened that blank page a lot of times but every time she fell short of words.
There were so many thoughts in her head but they were all fluid.. Every time she tried giving them a shape she failed.
She thought of watching a highly recommended stupid detective series but gave up after 5 minutes. How did the story writers think? How do they write stories.. She always failed to understand those things..

She realized that the only solution to her restlessness was to binge mindlessly..
The disciplined life that she was following needed a bit shaking up. 15 minutes and 1 chocolate bar later she was still clueless..

She wasn't worried, she was learning to take things in her stride, she was exploring a new lifestyle, she was excited about the things she was still passionate about, she was doing well.. taking baby steps.. still she couldn't understand the reason why she was clueless.

For the first time in so many days she was still awake at 2:00 AM. It made her feel alive in a different way.. The power to do things at an ungodly hour..!! Oh, watching a Soap Opera would be great.. she said aloud. 40 minutes later she was emotionally drained and while wiping her tears she made a resolve to never download "that" soap opera again.

She quickly typed Azerbaijan on google search matching the blinking speed of wi-fi lights. After the detailed read she decided to read about Georgia, Bulgaria and Estonia.. Her choice of destinations. In her head she encircled 4 dates in an imaginary calender sometime far in the future. Setting targets was her thing after all.

She paced around the house looking for something interesting. She was behaving like a bird fluttering from one thing to the other. Just when she was thinking of what to do to kill the sleeplessness a thought came to her.
She started writing a story , the old fashioned way. The story was a leaf taken from her life. After 1 hour she hastily crossed all 15 sentences. It just didn't feel right. The sentences couldn't convey well what she was feeling.
May be I will never be able to write something beautiful, she muttered to herself. With that disheartening thought she changed her clothes, fastened the laces  tight. Picked up her iPOD and walked towards the gym..
The song playing in the background was "I will survive" .. Couldn't have been more appropriate she thought..
It is just another day and I will survive she said aloud looking at the rising sun.

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