Sunday, September 9, 2012

~~~The Memory Remains~~~

Yesterday I was talking to someone and while talking he said..
"The sun will rise another day..." . I am really not here to talk about the Sun rising and why this metaphor was used. The moment he said this.. I couldn't stop thinking about where I had heard it before. The line felt pretty familiar. All of a sudden the whole song came back to me. The memories come back to me in phases..
There was a time where I couldn't stop thinking about this song.. This song was on my head,my lips and more importantly it was in my heart. I just have a faint remembrance now about that time..

We all talk about how we have memories to cherish. I really don't know how long do they actually last.
Some of my earliest memories are:

>>My mother dropping me to my grandparents house in the morning before going to work. I was a 4 year old then. Pre-Schools/Kindergardens weren't so big at that time. We used to walk a good amount of distance and in between my mother used to teach me all the poems/ multiplication tables. I was too young to have solid memories from that time. Yeah I still remember that vaguely.

>>Then came the time when my dad gifted me a cycle and started teaching me how to ride a bike. I don't remember how and exactly how I learnt it. I remember a few odd details from that time.. Like the color of my bike, the clothes I used to wear, The route etc etc. I do have a few scars to show off my accomplishments. Every time I look at them they remind me of the same odd details and nothing more.

>> Having those stupid crushes on boys ( I can't even recall names now.. am I old?) then talking for hours with my friends dissecting them (I can feel Shreeja smiling at this..). I remember a long time ago when I had a crush on Karan I spent one night talking to my another friend about him and what could be on his mind.. I can hardly remember the things we talked about. I do remember drinking some sugary syrup, eating chips and sitting on my roof talking about him...

>> My shopping expeditions with my sister during my trips to Delhi. We shopped like maniacs.
Then checking out all the places which our measly pocket money couldn't afford. The feeling of being independent was too overwhelming at that time. It was a different time and a different phase.
Everything could be bought and the things that we couldn't we waited for the month end.

I have a lot of other memories also and yeah probably talking about them wouldn't be appropriate. Actually come to think of it I wouldn't do justice by putting them in words.
I don't remember the sequence for any of those. Once in a while when an appropriate song is playing or sometimes when I take out an old dress or a few spoken words are enough to take me down to the memory lane. The picture there is faint.. Very faint..It is like a black and white movie with a bad antennae reception and in a few years from now I wont be able to think about it.Every time I am there I smile and think hard of the events that happened. Sometimes I end up thinking about just the same details sometimes a little more..

We move on but the memories remain..The old ones fade out eventually. The strong ones leave a mark
(Like the cycle injuries.. ) They remind us of the once upon a time situations, life etc etc..
People say that we should not think about the past too much.. We should look forward..
I say that the reality check of the past is needed. It is good to go down that memory lane and think about "what if's" and "What could have...". It gives me hope.

Yes, there will be bad memories too but they just become lessons for the future... !!
We learn from them and revise every time we go down that lane..

I think that's enough for today. I have probably bored you with enough details. Things that you were not interested in probably to begin with..!!!
That's how I do things here..!!

I am just going through a challenging time at the moment. To keep drawing inspiration I keep repeating 4 lines from a poem by my favorite poet..
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul
- Invictus by William Ernest Henley

A few years from now.. I will look back at the hazy, black and white picture and I will think about this time and probably won't be able to recall more than these four lines.. I will keep you posted. Don't Worry!

For now, I started writing something about memories.. May be I will complete it someday..
The way I used to write things.. I feel like a different person at times..

 It is really time to get going now..
Ciao..
It is by Metallica.. I went down the memory lane a bit while writing this ..
College time, Me in my "supposedly" gothic attire and headbanging in a college fest when the band started played this song. Faint remembrance indeed..
Ash to ash , dust to dust
Fade to black , the memories remain, yeah


5 comments:

  1. If you don't mind me asking, do you also have a personal diary/journal?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey,

    No Journal.. No personal diaries..
    I have been that kind of person..
    How about you? Why do you ask this?

    Love

    ReplyDelete
  3. we know each other so well, no matter how long its been we can connect with few words.. :)
    the smile came just reading the crush thing!! details about who all came in mind later when we meet up.. I am sure it won't be long..

    Take Care

    ReplyDelete
  4. I do have a journal and a diary and unsent letter and what not.

    I asked because there are things which can't be written on a blog (or so I assume) but should be documented somewhere, and I do that in my journal. So thought of asking you as well. :)

    ReplyDelete