Thursday, August 23, 2012

~~~ Times They Are A-Changing~~~

I think I am forgetting a lot of things.. Most importantly how to write / express my feelings
Some days are just bad, some are worse and some of them are just clueless, pointless and directionless.

I tried writing a lot of things but all in vain. I don't know from where should I begin. I think the problem is that I have too many things on my mind and I just lose track of the important ones.
I have been thinking a lot lately about various things in general.. Yes, you are right..I have all the time in the world these days. I keep thinking and rethinking about a lot of topics. I think about the people who shouldn't matter, I think about a lot of "What If''s". I feel guilty during the peak afternoon hours when I am just whiling away my time instead of working in the office.

Sometimes I apply to the random job openings where I know I don't stand any chance. The thought of going to work in a Glass Ghetto in Gurgaon scares me. The thought of fighting for the space on the roads during the peak office hours psyches me out. The thought of shopping puts me off immediately.
The most intellectual thing that I do is look for the Grey's Anatomy quotes on twitter...
I open wiki travel everyday to browse through the exotic places and destinations..
Then diligently I follow it up by browsing through the VISA requirements.

Sometimes I am lost in my own world.. I type paragraphs and then delete them all. I try to take a leaf out of my book and write. After spending hours on it I delete it all feeling pointless.
I know what you want to say.. " It will be fine" , " I will be okay".. I really want to believe in that. Trust me!!
Something keeps pulling me back..  Yes, that's the choice that I made and I know I have to live with it.
Good / Bad .. It is mine.. and some days it gets worse and those days I try to write.

I am a little uninspired in life at the moment. I haven't given up as yet. It is just that I am a bit lost..
I think there will be a lot of musings in the coming days.. So if you come here looking for the "Shiny happy posts" I would suggest REFRAIN!! I will miss the red dots no doubt but I don't want to lose out on the long term readership..

I think I should sign off now..
P.S: The song is by Bob Dylan.
Yes Times are changing and so am I.. I hope all for the better..!


  1. Shilps!!!!

    Chillllll! Listen to some nice music n your life will come back to you!

    What you're going through happens to me all the time n trust me its all about distracting yourself :P so do it - you have a lot of ways - bake, shake n all that!

    n I will keep coming back - not for happy or sad but fr you :)


  2. Gunjan,

    Music is one of the things that keeps me sane but sometimes it brings a lot of memories and then I feel lost again.

    Some days are hopeless and some days I feel okay..

    I think there is just depression in the air..


  3. Tanny,

    Yes I want to meet you too..
    Let's fix up something soon.. I will call you.


  4. Nothing lasts for ever, and I am sure this phase would get over too... till then take it as it is :-)