Friday, August 3, 2012

~~~ I have Nothing ~~~

Officially my last day here.
Yes, I am quite emotional right now. I know whatever happens will be for the best! It is just that I am not ready to accept it as yet.. Probably in a couple of years I will look back and smile. For now it hurts and does not feel good.
I know that sometimes you have to let go or move on to see if it was worth having in the first place.
I also know that a goodbye is necessary before we can meet again. I know all this.
I have been saying these things to the other people time and again. So now when it is my turn I don't like it. I don't want to believe in any of it! This is the second time in 2 years and it is hard!
I take my time to get attached, like and love and when it happens it is pretty intense. It is then difficult moving on! ( Strange Love..!). Saying Goodbye makes me feel sick in the stomach.. :(

The day started with a Goodbye.. In my mind there was a photo montage playing..
In my head I was thinking .. "This is it.." and then I remembered a funny dialogue that we shared which I almost wanted to blurt out. Probably it was my mind telling me to slow down a bit..!!!

I contemplated with the idea of going away from this blog for a while and then return with things in order..
Then decided against the idea. I have done that before. I took sabbaticals when things weren't so right/ bright.. Why take a sabbatical from blogging ?
The problem is I blurt out my secrets here every once in a while. According to me they are always laced well and are cryptic to figure out (With the intent of keeping my secret intact). The problem is it becomes pretty obvious to the others. I have been cornered with what I wrote in the past. I don't think I can ever write an espionage novel/ story.. I will be the worst writer ever. Anyway, this discussion is for some other time.
I am here to stay for now..

I am excited about being back in Delhi. There are so many plans in the pipeline. I am quite looking forward to it. It will be a new chapter. I need to get my emotions in order :).
The need of the hour is to learn driving. Time and again I was motivated and now I have the chance!

Hopefully , my best days are ahead of me. I have too many memories from here to last a lifetime.
So, I will be back soon..
Ciao..
P.S : The song is by Whitney Houston.
Yes of course I have nothing right now.. ( I am jobless..) the song is not about that!
It is much more than that...
Will a memory survive,
One I can hold on to?

2 comments:

  1. You're going to be back before you know it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. :) Delhi needs you now. Time to be home. :)

    ReplyDelete