Monday, June 4, 2012

~~~ Running Down a Dream~~~

I always crib about how hard writing is for me.. yet I end up here every once in a while..!!

Today at work someone cornered me.
So this guy (Let's call him Sugar Daddy) was talking to his wife about me..!
His wife (Who is my friend too) told him about my blog and he immediately went and checked my blog.

Today he invited me for coffee.. and was casually chatting up with me and was telling me that he read my blog and how he couldn't imagine something like that from me...
Then he asked his first question.. "Why do you blog..? Are you lonely? Is that a way to vent out your feelings?" I really wanted to be rude and wanted to give him all the "smarty" answers but then decided otherwise..So in simple words I just replied... 
"I am not lonely and I have multiple ways to vent out my feelings and this is just one of them"
He paid for the coffee and said .. " You didn't answer my question..why do you blog...?"

So Mr Sugar Daddy if you are reading this then here you go..
The reason why I blog is because one day when I will have a van full of crazy grand kids I will read this blog out loud to them while picknicking by the lake..
 I am not good at remembering things, details, stories and timings and yet I want them to know everything.
It has happened so many times that I ended up giving an incorrect account of an event,skipped tiny things, got confused between the events(yes really :)).
I am a bit absent minded  and I miss out on the details in my personal life. Different people interpret it in different ways. For some I am just an absent minded careless girl who is lost in her own world whereas for the others I am that conniving b***h. (I don't blame them .. Serves me right!)
Coming back to my original point I want to read out my life to them as it happened to me. I stopped believing in fairy-tales a long time ago. I like to keep it real and simple!! I think I will be the coolest Grand-Ma ever..

I started writing this blog 5.5 years ago because I thought I had the poet in me (I was really stupid back then..). I continued writing for different reasons at different points in time.I really don't see any reason to stop  it now. Good or bad, it is mine!!

My life is good..I am enjoying and living my "spontaneous" life. 
I was just talking to one of my friends today and both of us were talking about what we hate in people.
So just thought of jotting down all the things I hate.She also agreed on almost all the points.. 

**More than the person who bitches about me I hate the person who participates(silently) and then promptly comes and tells me about how the other person bitched about me..!! I don't appreciate this in people at all.If someone bitched about me and you were not man enough to defend me then spare me all the extra information about who said what...!!!

**I don't like armchair patriotism, armchair preachers, armchair activists et al. I think if you have it in you show it! I also don't like people who are growing old with Facebook these days. They end up doing real things just to make their virtual life look cooler.Watching "Satyamev Jayate" doesn't make you an activist. I think the point that I am trying to make here is that actions speak louder than words. So show it .. Don't just yap yap yap about it!!

** I will not judge you ever. I have done nothing to judge you so I expect the same. 
Don't judge me because you are not Holier than Thou. Life changes every minute and you never know.. We might end up on the same side of the fence!

** I hate it when people throw sympathy / pity on me.. I can take anything in this world but not pity. I guess I am too egoistic for that. I am strong and I am a star and yeah I don't need your pity!

The list does not end here there are some other deal breakers as well.. Another Day, Another Time..Well I think I can get past all the other negatives except for the above ones.. A wise man once taught me a nice term for such people .. "Rotten Apples". I am trying to distance myself from these rotten apples. I don't want them to spoil my life! So Good Riddance!

It has been a fairly long post.I think it is time to end this here.
Before I sign off.. someone asked me about the last song from the last post.. His question was "what is it about Vienna?"
Well I heard this song as a kid and somewhere deep down I thought that Vienna was this marvelous place almost like a paradise (In the song he says .. "Vienna waits for you.." sounded heavenly then). 
Then when I was a little older and was studying in college I was exploring music, theories, fundas.. I read somewhere that Viennese had this morbid fascination with Death ( they have the largest Cemetery and people actually spend a lot for their after life ceremonies). It kind of intrigued me. 
Then in all the espionage novels that I loved the protagonists always used to make a pit stop in Vienna. I think I can't define all these things in words perfectly. In my world they just added up and hence the fascination.. ( Not to forget the 4 trips that got cancelled..)

I will be back.. 
P.S : It is a Tom Petty Song. 
It is just about different stages of life and all.. I heard this song a long time ago and really liked it.
Throughout the song he is rushing towards a goal/ destination.. 
I love the lyrics and the song simply talks about my state of mind at the moment..!! I am too positive ain't I ?
I rolled on as the sky grew dark
I put the pedal down to make some time
There's something good waitin' down this road
I'm pickin' up whatever's mine

Yeah runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me
Workin' on a mystery, goin' wherever it leads
Runnin' down a dream


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