Thursday, November 10, 2011

~~~ When Doves Cry ~~~

I have been a little stressed out lately..
I am sure many of you already know that.. There have been no happy shiny posts lately and to be honest I am also kind of missing them.

Every time I feel stressed out .. I get aggressively involved in the other things.. 
The days when I used to play squash.. I used to take my frustration out on the game.. Hitting the wall with the ball again and again and again( While practicing)..There is something magical about it. You can measure your frustration in every shot.. I never did that while playing with the others.. ( I feel that my competitors safety should be my top most concern)..

There were times when I used to run a lot.. striding my way up and down taking my frustration out.. 
I never abuse/swear people..It has been one of my fundamental principles in life.. But while running esp when I am running to take my frustration out I have abused out loud.. No one could hear me and it felt good..!!!

Then came a phase where I used to be on Facebook.. diverting my mind off from the stress, tensions ... and liking comments, replying blah blah and blah.. and Now I am off Facebook.. :)

I am stressed out at the moment .. I get random thoughts in my head.. Like the day before yesterday I was thinking about that song.. "ek chidya, anek chidya"... and then yesterday I was thinking about the "Roohafza days.."
Today I started writing a short story and it ended in to a stupid composition.. And now I feel like painting the canvas black.. No I am not crazy it is just that I am missing that outlet somewhere ... 
I just want to take my frustration out and I will be fine... Trust me..!

(If anyone is ready to be my punching bag... please let me know.. :))

What else apart from getting stressed out, getting angry etc etc ?

The big news is that I am going to India in a weeks time for three weeks. 
I am very excited about it.. After a year wow!! I still haven't started my packing and that is freaking me out..(Did I not tell you that I overreact ?).

Of late I have been thinking about things ..actually it is kind of my 
**Oh I wish I could do it.. but you know I am a chicken **  list..

Things that have been sitting prettily on this list are :
  •  Wearing Black Nail polish ..
  •  Wearing Stilettos to work.. 
  •  Getting a Tattoo.. to show that I am a rebellion ( I am actually not a very tattoo girl.. I don't like the concept of painting your body to advertise your theory  )
  •  Getting a different hair color ( This will be fulfilled with time....)
  •  Wearing a Biker-Girl attire... (Torn jeans, worn out leather jacket,kickass Boots... Rugged Look)
  •  Going on a 10 day long vacation to an unknown destination..all by myself.
  •  Drinking and Dancing all night long... All night Long... The whole night!!
  •  Skating 10kms .. ( Next summer.. Yes for sure....)   
Currently I am addicted to two songs...
This one is a folk- Qawali song... I googled for its meaning on the internet...It is a  Beautiful song with beautiful lyrics..
This song is in the honor of Sufi mystic 'Hazrat Lal Shahbaz Qalandar'. Every word of his name has a meaning. 

This one is about a girl talking about different shades of World, life..How she has experienced the good things in all flavors of life.It was my favorite song when I was 15 .. the story of the singer is also pretty inspiring .. she is a fighter ..!! She fought paralysis.

I think I have written quite a lot for today.. 
I will be back soon.. 

Yeah sorry for a gloomy post again.I composed something really sad. It started out as a sad short story
which turned in to a composition which ended sadly.
I think I will have to quit here and that's it for now .. Sorry!
Never been too good at happy endings...
P.S : the song is by Prince .. about two people finding themselves in a nightmare.. Finding their way out!
I am also somewhere/ nowhere  finding my way out ....
I will be back with some Happy Shiny posts...!! Someone told me that my element is missing in the posts...! 

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